Wednesday 26 February 2014

The batrachian escapade.

Good Sirs and fair gentle lady folk, I am very much in rapture with the way you are working it, and I should very much enjoy the opportunity to place it in a bag and bloomin' well take it away with me. There. I've said it! Yes, you're all looking bloomin' fabulous this morning! . . . Even you! . . . Yes you! Yes, even with what you're wearing at the moment! In fact, now I think about it, especially with what you're wearing at the moment. And if you don't mind me saying, you all look good enough to jolly well eat! Nom nom nom nom nom.

I'm sorry, I do apologise, I seem to e channeling the Blackadder incarnation of Hugh Laurie this morning. I fear I have been watching far too much of it recently, and it seems it has rubbed off on me a bit. *Bites knuckle to avoid making obvious lewd pun about something rubbing off on me* Right, get a grip Tidy, and I don't mean that in any salacious manner either before you start!

In truth, I am actually feeling somewhat tiredly this morning, having had a difficult start getting to sleep last night. All was well and normal as I put down my book and switched off my bedside light last night. I was more than ready to be welcomed into the arms of Morpheus, and was settling down into the steady breathing pattern of nod. Then at around midnight, I heard a puzzling commotion from out on the landing. It sounded like one of the cats was heavy footedly careering about with a dogs squeaky toy! There was the the repeated thumping of paws scampering at speed and then a long, drawn out squeak. Wanting to know what in the name of arse was going on, I decided to get up to open the door and have a look.

What greeting me was an overly excited look of glee from the smallest cat and as I looked down a rather terrified large frog. So I did what any man would do in this particular situation. I switched on the bedroom light and said, "Steph! There's a frog on the landing and I'm not sure what to do about it." The frog at this point weighed up his options and made a huge leap towards me and the relative safety of the bedroom. After I had made it clear to the Awesome Lady T that the frog in question was very much alive, by failing at my first attempt to catch it, I managed to gently cup my hands around it's fat slimy body and lift it up. I then safely released it back into wild, by opening the bedroom window with the frog in my pajamas. (yes yes I know there's lot's of scope for humorous replies to that statement, I purposely left out the punctuation for you.) Fear not though, frogs can survive falls from greater heights than a second floor window! Especially when a good aim lands them gently in the greenery of the raised vegetable plot by the greenhouse. In fact, as early as 1683 in the Norfolk village of Acle there was a heavy shower of toads and most of those survived that fall. Besides I did hear it hop off when it landed, so all is well.

So suffice to say, after that little escapade the realm of sleep seemed to evade me for quite some time. So I come to you this Wednesday in a slight state of fuzzy-headedness. Still there is still the peak of the week to conquer before we slide towards the weekend once more.

More coffee needed me thinks. Right well, I better scoot, don't ever change, and I'll see you all tomorrow.

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