Monday 29 September 2014

Y-Y-Y-Yaaawwwn

Yaaaawwwwwn . . . Morning all. Sorry about that, still very much suffering with the sleepy. I also apologise for anyone I actually made yawn when they read that. A lot of us can't even read the word yawn, without wanting to have one themselves, they are highly contagious things, especially first thing in the morning.
Contagious yawning is a phenomenon that only really occurs in humans, chimpanzees and more surprisingly dogs as a response to hearing, seeing, or even thinking about yawning. How many times have you felt the urge to yawn while reading this!? (What do you mean, my posts always make you want to yawn anyway!? RUDE!) There have been many theories over the years as to why we do this; empathy has often been thought as the cause, and more recently, age has also been thought as a contributing factor. Apparently the older we get the less likely we are to catch a yawn.
However, the truth is that ultimately, contagious yawning still remains an unexplained mystery to scientists across the world. As for me, I think it comes down to a bit jealousy. I mean who doesn't enjoy the feeling of a great big yawn, especially when in conduction with a good old loud stretch.
I think, it's just a case of us simply seeing or imagining someone having a yawn and thinking to ourselves: I've got to get me some of that action!
So don't stifle your yawns today, enjoy them! Make the most of them it's Monday after all, people should expect yawns. Then sit back and watch the Mexican wave of yawns that will follow.
Toodleloo!

Wednesday 17 September 2014

THE TUESDAY.

John's alarm had gone off as it normally did, waking him from his slumber, but even as he blearily opened his eyes he knew something wasn't right. There was a stillness that wasn't normally there. Thinking it must just be the side effects from a bad dream, he switched on the bedside light and turned to his partner to gently wake her up, as he normally did. She wasn't there. 

Maybe she had woken up just before the him, noticed the time and decided she may as well get up. It wouldn't be the first time this had happened, she was probably in the shower already. So he eased himself to the edge of the bed, loudly stretched, and made his way to the bathroom. He stood on the landing and listened at the bathroom door, weird he thought, he couldn't hear the shower or any of the normal sounds of ablutions. He knocked on the door, "Jen! Are you in there?". There was no reply, so he gently opened the door and peeped round. The shower was empty, much like the rest of the newly furnished bathroom – So where was she?

He rushed back to the bedroom, pulled on last nights clothes and immediately checked his phone. Maybe something had happened and for some unknown reason, she'd decided not to wake him. Nothing. No texts, no missed calls, in fact looking at his phone, no signal either. Still that wasn't unusual, he'd quite often had to run about the house with his arm up in the air, trying to find that sweet spot where the gods of mobile technology would allow communication. Then he noticed that Jen's phone was still on the bedside cabinet where she would leave it over night. Something was definitely amiss.

He rushed downstairs calling out her name, but no reply came. In fact, as he listened for any sign of life, he noticed it was eerily quiet for this time of the morning. Normally the hubbub of neighbours going to work, and cars driving past the window would be in full flow by now, but there was nothing. No sounds whatsoever. The lounge was as quiet and still as it had been when they'd wearily climbed the stairs last night.

He pulled open the curtains and a strange lilac light filled the room. The street was deserted, no one was there. All the cars in the street were where they would normally be parked overnight. None of them had moved. What the hell was going on?

He switched on the television, maybe something major had happened overnight. Nothing. Apparently no signal was being received, even the free digital service seem to be out of action, nothing but blank screens on all the channels.

Now he was panicking, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest and trying to burst through his throat as he ran to the front door and opened it wide. There was something bizarre about that sky, what was the saying; red sky in the morning, shepherds warning? So what the heck did lilac sky mean? There was also a strange metallic smell in the air, kind of like you get after a good thunderstorm. "Jen!" he called out in vain. "HELLO," he yelled, trying a different tactic as he cupped his hands around his mouth "IS ANYBODY THERE!?" No reply came.

Across the other side of the street, something was watching. Something was quietly observing John from behind some wheelie bins, as he slowly wandered the streets calling out for any signs of life. The creature made quiet grunting sounds, mixed with the odd wheeze and click. Then as John made his way up the road towards it, the clicks became louder and more frequent and the breathing more laboured.

There was a loud bang, which made John spin on the spot and look across to a couple of wheelie bins, that were gently rocking. "Hello!" he said, slowly making his way across to the disturbance. He reached the bins and looked behind them, but there was nothing there. Then he span back around as he heard the sounds of quickly running feet dash past behind him and disappear.

"Is somebody there!?" John tried, he could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins and his heart was nearly in his mouth. He started to make his way back across the street, to the row of parked cars where the sounds had came from. He approached as quietly as could, bent over and edged his head around to look along the line of cars. Nothing.

It was probably a stray cat or something that had got freaked out, not that John blamed it; to be honest he was more than slightly freaked out himself. So he took a deep breath, stood up and pondered what he should do. That was when he started hearing the loud clicking.

Something was behind him, he could hear it wheezing and clicking. He was rooted to the spot. Fear had gripped him like a straight jacket, and he was unable to move. Unfortunately the creature behind him was moving, making it's way towards John's back, clicking louder and more quickly as it approached.

John felt numb, he was shaking so badly and he felt he was struggling to even breathe. He pulled his hands into fists and began to turn around, but it was too late. The creature saw John's movement as it's opportunity to pounce, and that's exactly what it did.

"THE TUESDAY – Coming to a cinema near you, from Tuesday"